If you would like to know more about the Lone Twin Network or if you would like to become a member, please fill in the Contact Form at the bottom of this page or use the postal address below. As we are a voluntary group, we may not be able to offer immediate response to emails, but we will reply to your query as soon as possible.
Please Note: You need to be 18 or over to join the group.
There is a joining fee of £12 followed by a yearly voluntary contribution to allow us to provide the Lone Twin Network’s services.
Lone Twin Network
c/o David Elvy
226 Tylecroft Road
Norbury
London SW16 4TQ
Please be assured that all communications are treated with complete privacy.
lone twin network 
I lost my twin in November 2022 I’m lost with out her I need bereavement support or therpy , as I feel very alone do u have an lone twin bereavement in the London area thks Michelle.
Love thhis
Below is my email.
My twin …is gone…at his grave site…struggling…all alone..wondering why won’t he talk to me…he was alone when he died we think was cardiac arrest. I looking at his things to get a glimpse of his last few days. I need help and need to talk with someone who understands this true pain. Please…this is my deepest worst nightmare
My kifebwill never be the samewithout my twin u miss her souch my heart is broken.
I lost my twin during September of this year. He had a brain hemorrhage. I was the one to be there when he had the fit that made him brain dead. As an identical twin this has terrified me. The family were with him when the machines were turned off in hospital a few days later. I kick myself daily for feeling my grief is deeper than that of my mum or sisters. It’s a connection they never had. I feel part of me went with him those few days. I don’t sleep, barely eat. I know he’d want me to look after myself but I’m struggling. I just wish I can make him proud
Just lost my twin April 2023.
I feel so lost…and struggling
My twin sister was found deceased at her flat on the 6th of July our Birthday is the 3rd . I’m struggling a bit , my partner very supportive but I feel part of me left when she did .
Hi I share your grief because I sadly lost my twin on 22/08/22 this year thing was I didn’t find out for a month because she would not talk to my sister but she’ll talk to me because I was her twin, but yes I do know what it feels like to lose a close relative.
I have lost my twin sister 7days ago. We are 33 years old. I just came across this page and thought wow. These feelings I’m having are ok. We all twins feel this. I’m lost. Half of me will never return. I having this yearning to see her again. This longing to sit and chat with her again. This pain I feel is so sad and deep that it wouldn’t ever be felt if I lost someone else.
Hi Saira,
Sorry for your loss. I lost my twin brother on the 10th December suddenly. Absolutely heart breaking. We are 48 years old. I miss the text messages, the phone calls, catching up and knowing he is there for me. Growing up we did everything together and the void is massive. You are not alone and I hope that you do find some comfort.
Cheers
Marc
Hi Marc. Thanks for your kind words. Not everyone can understand the pain of losing a twin especially. I am still trying to understand how to deal with everything. So many feelings I am having just really don’t know how to deal with this all.
This is excruciating pain I feel is unbearable. I lost my Twin April 2023 it was suddenly as well. I feel like I let him down. I don’t know how to live after 42 years together. My wife and kids are the only thing that is keeping me together. I can’t leave his gravesite to leave him him alone. I am truely alone..constant pain and each memory is a triggered.
Hi Daryl,
Sorry for your loss mate. Please know that you are not alone and all of us twins are thinking of you. I can only speak of my loss, it gets easier but the pain never goes. I have done grief counselling and plenty of therapy sessions but it wasn’t for me. I found that letting go of the anger and talking about my brother helps a lot. Saira, if you do read this, thanks for your message, it meant a lot to me. A few years have passed and I hope that like me you have found some relief from the pain of losing your sister.
Marc
I lost my twin bro 30 October 2021, we are 54. I don’t have other siblings. I can’t imagine life without him but I think I am helped by the fact that we were so attached that the bond will never be broken. He is still here, still part of me, while I am here he is too. I can’t get my practical head around the future without him but I’m hoping our “connection” will allow my less practical soul to triumph.
I’m 53 I lost my twin in a tragic car accident when I was 23. Nobody understands how hard life is and how lonely it can be without your other half. Can’t believe how many people have lost their twins on this network. Makes you feel less alone 😌
I lost my twin sister April 8, 2022. We are 34. If you ever want to reach out please do xx
Saira, My deepest condolences to you and your family. Those feelings are OK and it is such a different bereavement to lose a twin. It does feel like a part of you is gone and it seems impossible to reconcile the loss of the other’s presence. My heart goes out to you as you begin your journey as a lone twin. Love and peace to you. xx
I lost my lovely twin brother, suddenly one thursday night, after living with him for 35 years it hit me like a bomb, where has he gone, i all off a sudden nobody to talk to, and what do we get lockdown, so i can not meet friends.
I lost my twin, I have dealt with 5 members of my family die in 1 year, but losing my bro was heart wrenching,, I feel so lost without him, I cant even imagine what iderntical twins must feel as we were fraternal twins but oh so close. I mainly felt that we were born together we should die together right? I will never celebrate my birthday with out him. I listen to Maroon 5 and the December song.
I miss him especialy a this time of year, so much has happebed in december. I was writying his Eulogy on our 52 birthday and cremated him on the 19th December, tomorrow is our birthday not mine but ours, if he isn;t here then neither am I…..
I can’t believe what I just read Samantha, they are my feelings exactly. My twin brother passed away in my arms 14 years ago. I wrote our story a few years ago and have had it published , it is called ‘Twin Connections ‘ and I would love to send you a copy free. You will be amazed and I know you will be able to relate to most of it. The feeling of that special bond never goes away, we are so privileged to have it. You have him with you still deep down in your heart Samantha. xx
Where do I get a copy of your book iv list 5 sisters ti cancer before the age 50.but my twin in 2020 I feel like I died to
Hi Susan, it is available from my website at barbaraandrewsauthor.com
If you send me your address I will post you a free copy.
I know exactly what you are feeling and thinking and I agree because I lost my twin a week before our 45 birthdays and I don’t have any birthday since so i.m stuck at 44years old now until I am where I belong where ever he is came together so he stuck where he is until I catch up and we do e back again together like the last time sorry for your loss 8thboctober 2019 has been my worse year ever even burying my son 4 hours old wasn’t like getting something torn off me and I won’t feel right until that part comes back to me so we can come back again in a different generation😞😥😞😥 confused.com doesn’t come close to anything now😥
I’m a lone twin who’s brother died in utero. All my life I’ve been searching for him. I had selective mutism until I was almost 7. I was somewhat of a loner early on and still struggle getting close to people. I miss him so much and at times it’s almost unbearable. I feel like part of me has been missing my whole life.
I am the same as you, Jannine, and I lost my twin sister were.
Hello
Son is a lone twin. He is 6 years old and he was Born on the 14th Novenber (same day as your post) I would love to hear more of your experiences and learn what might help my son if he ever needs it. I would love him to grow up with other chidren like him and meet some adults too.
I’m also a lone twin. It definitely is a hard feeling to deal with. It feels like a chunk of you is missing. I just found out (at 16) that I’m a lone twin and it’s such a confusing and lonely feeling to wrap your head around.
Hi I’m a lone twin my self my twin sister died hours after birth and I’m always feeling like something is missing lonly feel can’t explain empty missing someone that i can’t never find it’s sad not even my children that iove dearly fill that gap when i red some of tbe comments on here it felt great like i was describing my self happy to find this page
I am the same… the grief remains with you, it’s like any happiness or joy you may feel is covered in a blanket of sadness; because in this ‘living of life’, that person you never knew, is missing…
My Birthday today, I didn’t realise so many twins feel the same as I do. So sad, and feel something is missing all my life. My sister, Patricia, died 2 hours after we were born. I understand your feelings too. Thinking of all you other twins out there. X
Sounds exactly like me. I love my three children to bits but the void l feel is enormous. Now with this group l hope to learn more and manage my feelings
I feel similar. I lost my twin brother aged 38 on June 29th 2019, and my mum 4 weeks ago. I’m struggling to focus and deal with my emotions. It’s comforting to hear other twin losses and not to feel so alone. When he died I also died too. I love my daughters so much. I just feel so lost without him. We would sound board off each other and look out for each other, we’ve dealt with so much illness etc together. He is gone. We would be 40 this November.
Hi, I am the same as well. Thing is nobody really understands because they have to have been a twin to truly understand what it feels like to lose one in the first place be it at birth or after many years. I have been having this feeling for many years now, feeling lonely even amongst people and I really want to get over this feeling. How exactly did you guys get over it ?
I feel the same way. I feel like half of me is missing, I feel incomplete. I have an Identical twin that died of Sids. I feel lost in this world.
I lost my twin brother, 14 years ago, and yesterday it was are birthday ,
I still feeling like it was recently ,every December 18 , I don’t let any one ,say to me happy birthday, or call me ho see me not even my family or children, I get all are pictures ,and kiss them and I cry all day , ,I need to get together with others twinless ,and help each other. Thank you ,we are from Uruguay
We all seem to have this exceptional bond with being a twin and dread birthdays as they just don’t feel the same. It is good to know that I am not alone x
I know exactly how you feel. I lost my twin brother on 18th December 2018. We were 62 when he passed. I don’t do birthdays or Xmas anymore and my family don’t even mention birthday.
I have never felt so lonely. I have family but as you know the bond a twin has is immense. It’s a different lonely.
I go to bed thinking of him and I wake up thinking of him. The pain is unbearable.
You are definitely not alone Margaret. It thought I was until I joined this group. I am exactly the same, I miss my brother so much it hurts. He was my world. xx
You posted this precisely a year ago Margaret. Today is my 70th birthday and it is 28 years to the day that my twin sister Janet died with me and our Mum at her bedside. Janet died on our 42nd birthday. I have wanted to remove this date from the calendar ever since.
I lost my identical twin 45 years ago and birthdays are still difficult to deal with as that is the first thing I think about and I have to visit the cemetery before I can do anything else.
Hi everyone, all these comments are so me. I wrote ‘Twin Connections ‘ which is an unbelievable read. Our bond was so strong and the unexplainable incidents which occured throughout our life even though my twin was severely handicapped both physically and mentally and lived with Downs Syndrome. They are all detailed in the book. Maybe it may help you. It is available at intertype.com..au/twin-connections/
Even after 14 years I am still finding it hard to cope without him.
i am wondering how Lone Twins feel when their birthday comes. i have always had a hard time even though my twin died at birth. I do not like being the only one to celebrate my birthday on that date. I am hoping other Lone Twins understand because i can’t explain to non twins that something is missing, and my birthday is a combination of all kinds of feelings. Wish I could learn how to have it just be happy. i keep trying. Dianei
Hi,
This was my first year not having my twin for our birthday six months after losing her. Everyone told me to celebrate life for her that day, but I wanted to crawl in a hole and die honestly. I started having panic attacks March 1st although our birthday wasnt until the 26th. Every day that it got closer, the worse I felt and there was no denying she wasn’t here (or survival mode as my therapist calls it). She died at 28 and I feel stuck at that age too. Maybe that will change with time, but for now it’s still so new. There were little things I looked forward to that day and none of it was the same. We used to meet up at the Cheesecake Factory, just the 2 of us (outside the family gathering to celebrate), and enjoy the Cris’ Outrageous cheesecake because it was like German chocolate cake on another level! Our dad took me there this year and they discontinued it. The disappointment I felt over a slice of cheesecake was probably ridiculous to everyone, but it was the only since of normal I could had hoped for that day so the to hear them say ‘discontinued’ was heart breaking. I wanted to cry right there, but held it together for my two kids and our dad.
Not sure if it ever feels the same for birthdays, again this is new for me, but I feel on our birthday that I’m just a reminder she isn’t her.
I know what you mean its only been 18 months or so since I lost my identical twin sister. Birthdays are the worst thing. She’s gone and life is impossible. Its our birthday next week, its just so hard without her.
I lost my twin before we were born so I didn’t truly have time to grow as deep a connection with him as many other twins. A lot of the time, having lived my whole life without a twin, I block it out but around my birthday, I cry for him a lot. I cry and think about everything he could’ve done with his own life and why I was the one to get to live it. I know nothing is my fault and this isn’t a place to feel guilty but it’s hard not to sometimes. I think about how much fuller my life would be if my twin got to live beside me and I miss him so much. I just turned 21 so I’ve been thinking about him. I’m able to talk about him without getting emotional and it usually doesn’t affect me but some nights I feel like I just cry for hours and it’s weird because I don’t live life with a sadness related to my twin, it just comes and goes. I thought it’d be interesting to provide a twin’s perspective that never really got to know their twin. It seems a lot different than many other responses and I can’t imagine a loss of a twin I had actually gotten to know.
Hi I’m in the same situation and I’d love to talk with you about it, I’ve not really dealt with it till more recently and I’d love to hear your story and how you feel about being the lone twin
My Fathers twin passed away at birth, my father is not here anymore, Thankyou for s h aring this because i had often thought on this for a long long time
As a mum to a lone identical twin this story brings me comfort. He has known since birth and he sometimes gets sad. He is almost 8 on November. I wish I had a group like this for parents. How are your parents. Do you talk to them?
I lost my brother last October and I can’t imagine ever wanting to celebrate or think about having a birthday alone. This September I will be 44 years old and the very thought of turning a year older without my twin will be a solemn and emotional day spent alone with our memories of happier times xxx
I lost my twin Brother 3 months ago at age of 29. Our birthday will be in 3 weeks.
Last year we celebrated it skydiving. It was one of the best days of my live.
I always tried to take care of both of us and sometimes played the role of our mother. He probably was the person that I cared and loved the most in this world.
Right after he passed away, I had this feeling that I needed to celebrate life as much as I could for him. But now I feel guilty and lonely. It’s been hard to live without him.
I’ve been trying to find ways to overcome this sadness through therapy and exercise. But it seems that nobody understands my pain.
I Hope you guys find your ways too.
I think you have to incorporate your twin into your life somehow
I constantly still ask for advice from mine
He died aged 48 our 60 in May next year
We just have learn to cope
And do the best for both
My twin died at birth as well or at least shortly before birth I believe… anyways my birthday is right after Christmas. (December 26) and my mom always made a huge deal about it being my special day. I always received separate birthday gifts from my Christmas gifts. And at least when I was little I would have an “imaginary friend” that was Justyn. I would play with him, draw him, and I even grew up a big tom-boy. I use to joke whenever I was acting like “one of the boys” that was Justyn’s side of me coming out. I had my twin in just about every aspect of my life I could to honor him. I plan on naming my first born boy after him. Though I will admit after my mother passed away Justyn’s death is a lot harder on me as an adult then it was as a child.
I understand exactly what you are saying Diane. I was unable to celebrate my birthday at all for 25 years after my identical twin died and I would wake up each time with such sorrow. Now I go to the cemetery in the morning and have some kind of acknowledgement of my own birthday later in the day. Hope this helps. x
Hi Gary I lost my identical twin sister 2 years ago and I completely understand how lost and alone you feel. I still feel like I’m waiting for something that is never going to come it breaks my heart everyday and your totally right you’ve lost half of yourself I really want say something that it gets easier but to be honest I really don’t think it does xx
Hi Lindsey, I’m so sorry that you lost your twin sister, I wish there was something I could say or do to help all the people on the forum who have lost their twins. I suppose the path I chose after realising that the void in my life could possible have been created through the loss of my identical twin sister was to travel the road of spirituality, it does help, although it has taken nearly a life time to finally realise a modicum of peace. My name is Lindsey too, same spelling. take care……..
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I lost my brilliant twin Bro a year ago
The pain I feel still is unbearable
The hole in my stomach is huge
Ppl who don’t understand twins jus say time heals
Mmmm wake up call
We are different
I have lost my identical twin
I have lost half of me
I struggle every day
I feel so lonely even though I have a fantastic partner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMX-1BgOIcE Dear Gary, I’m so sorry for your loss, I wrote this song for another twin Gary here is Australia that lost his brother 3 years ago. I hope that it might bring you some closure as it did him. God bless Mate.
Gareth Cohen.
Your song is beautiful , Gareth. Thank you. I lost my twin of 66 years just 3 weeks ago today and it is unimaginable…still.
Phoebe Sparrow Wagner
Oh darling I feel your pain after losing my brother.. We were joined at the hip… 2 years on I am still struggling too.. I will never get over the pain of losing him.. Much luv♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Hi Gary
I lost my twin brother in Dec 2018 to cancer. We are 62 yrs old and were close all our lives. We had a business together but now I am totally lost. The pain is truly unbearable and I know my life will never be the same. He used to send me a text most mornings telling me what needed to be done and general chit chat. I would give anything to receive a text from him but I know it’s not possible. I no longer feel complete and feel very lonely even though I have my own family. I go to bed thinking about him and wake up thinking about him.
I know your pain . I lost my twin sister last year , she was only 57 she died with in one week of sepsis. I feel so lost