Members’ Stories

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42 thoughts on “Members’ Stories

  1. I’m due to celebrate my 50th birthday next week and every year my birthday is tinged with sadness due to my identical sister who I lost at a day old where I then spent the next five months in intensive care I have a lovely family and two sons one which I nearly lost in childbirth and family and friends the loneliness is always there as well as social anxiety and can’t really talk about it to anyone

    • I know exactly how you feel each and every birthday. My twin was still born, and he was the son my parents longed for. The feeling of guilt, that the wrong one lived, is something that never goes away. So for over thirty years now our birthday passes ( its new years eve ), without acknowledgement, I do not celebrate. How can I when part of me is missing. I wonder if things had been different would he have written this reply.

    • I know how you feel I lost my twin sister four days after birth. My family never talks about her and when I do they tell me “she would want you to move on” but they don’t get it, you can’t just move on from something like that, you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen or treat it like a minor occurrence to get over so fast. It hurts so bad and like half of your self is just gone.

  2. I lost my twin july 12th,2018 50yrs old due to cancer,I’m literally heartbroken,my grief is so bad,I’m in shock really.Im hoping this site can help me get thru this.

    • Hello Denise,
      So very sad to hear about your twin, my heart truly goes out to you.
      If you send us an email through our Contact Us page, we will send you more details and how to join. You can then come to meetings and meet other lone twins, please know that you are not alone in this.
      Kind regards LTN

  3. I lost my identical twin sister in 1957 5 days after birth
    My mother now 89 recently told me she was breach and blocking me. She said I was born 2nd but when I checked birth certs. i was 11am and sister 11.30. Was I blocking her?

    I have always felt sad and have had two marriage breakdowns. Does anyone else feel this way. I have been unable to find where my sister eas buried or cremated

    • I feel exactly the same I was born 1966 and my twin brother died I was told lived a week and don’t know where he is is and this message with my head and I always feel as though there is off my body missing and the thoughts are always there in the back of my mind

  4. I recently lost my identical mirror twin sister aged 26 on December 18th 2016 there was only two minutes between us and I’m literally heartbroken I cannot get over the fact she has gone nobody understands how I feel as they haven’t lost a twin themselves around me and we was in separable she was murdered so that makes things a lot harder as it was her time to go,
    R.i.p nat until we meet again from your heartbroken twin gemma

    • It is extremely difficult. It’s almost been 2 years since my twin brother took his own life at the age of 28. He sent me a decent sized text message and I instantly knew I wouldnt be able to get to him in time. He wouldnt answer my calls or text. He told me where he would be, so I went there. He was there. It was the worst day of my life. The most helpless I’ve ever felt. I hear his voice in my e when i speak, see his face in the mirror when i look at mine, and know what his reaction would be when I make a tough decision. People try to compare losing him to losing another sibling or a parent and think they know how it feels. It’s just so much deeper than that.

      • Your describing me with the loss of my twin sister. She died of breast cancer on my dad’s birthday Dec 22, 2018. She initially had cancer 4 years ago and we all thought she beat it with Chemo and meds. She continued with her life while in remission until late February 2018 when the cancer came back. with was a struggle and a tough fight for her. We all went through the struggle together, as we gave her all the support and did what we knew at that time. Her life came to an end at 44. And I feel as her twin brother so did mine. I watched her take her last breath. All my life since the time I could remember, my biggest fear was losing my twin. It was as if I knew or something was telling me that one day I was going to lose her. Well the day came that I actually lost the closes human being to me. And just like you it was the worst day of my life. I can also hear her voice in my head when I speak, see her face in the mirror when i look at mine, and even feel her face expression on my own face. And of course people ask me if ” Im OK”, well no of course I’m not ok. They compare when they lost an uncle, from another state, who they haven’t seen in over a decade.Or people try comparing when they lost another sibling and I even heard people comparing when they lost a pet.
        Its beyond that and as deep as it gets. To compare, its like cloning your own self and growing up together sharing everything since the day we came out of our mother’s womb. Using each other as an aid and crutch to survive and get by throughout the years. Be struggled together and later helped each other to be successful together. Like someone in another post said; losing your twin is like losing an arm or a leg and left alone. We both had kids the same age as well, and that’s how we rolled. I truly miss her and wish I can bring her back.
        I am sorry to hear the loss of your twins everyone. After reading all these different post I realized I wasn’t the only one feeling like this. I guess I am not alone after all.

      • Hi I have read your post and it is so sad I didn’t loose my twin via suicide I can’t imagine the pain please get in touch I am only young as well and so was my twin

  5. I lost my twin born on 1April 1983..she was German beautiful girl ..we met in Moroccan desert ..when we discovered we are twin in birthday really it was the most happy time in my life …wish she can read my comment and contact me as soon .Rachid born 1 April 1983

  6. Just found out at age 33 that I lost my brother in the womb around 7 weeks. I struggled my whole life with my identity (I am female), and a crushing feeling of loneliness. If I had never known I don’t think I would have survived much longer. Maybe now I can reconcile that part of my life.

    • Hi what you mention here is how I feel but never thought it could be due to the missing of somone. I feel to struggle with my identity sometimes I know I’m a kind person and mean well. I feel lonely alot even though I have friends and family, almost lost. I sometimes feel I shouldn’t be where I am and somwhere else. I have anger issues and outbursts. I am normally happy and brush feeling and emotions under the carpet but the knowing of something missing always there.

  7. Lost my twin brother 11 hours after i was born in Haiti about 32 years ago. Wish he was here…. because being lonely mentally in life is hard to deal with. Physically i have friends and gitrlfriends, but dont seems to last long.

  8. My earliest memories of life I remember being a young grl and I would be severely depressed I would cry to my mom that please would she give me a baby brother literally be crying to the top of my lungs begging her….I would say I’m missing a brother I would dream of a boy that I just loved from the bottom of my heart and when we saw each other in my dreams we would hold each other and cry until I woke up I yurned for a older brother bit we were the same age my mom once told me when I turned about 21 and had a miscarriage that she had lost a baby before I was born and as soon as I started asking questions she shut down and changed the subject I was never told I had a fact I was just laying here remembering that time in my life and then it occurred to me could it be that I was a survivor twin and started researching the Internet and I happen to stumble across this site and here I am now writing to all of you.I will tell you this though since I was a little girl as early as I can remember every birthday I’ve ever had was deeply depressing and filled with empty tears I never knew why Ive cried for all of my b days also I was diagnosed with manic depressive disorder at the age of 9 based on my very first suicide attempt ; (

    • I’ve just found out I’ve got 2 birth certificates with the same name born in local town and city and most people’s comments seem a lot like my own life.To my mother this subject is a closed subject, I’m just researching at present as for your comment on suicide ALWAYS REMBER the word VALUE and try to keep smiling

  9. Hi my twin sister died at two wks old i still miss her and every morning,evening i talk to her always looking through the mirror as we are identical i find it comforting especially on the dark days. Im now 39yrs and i still break my heart every birthday and every Christmas. I also struggle with split personality everyday is a struggle.

  10. Today me and my sister turn 14… She left almost two years ago… by it still hurts… She was my mirror twin and it hurts to look in the mirror still…. and if your somehow reading this, Happy birthday Tillie.

    Love Ami

      • I lost my mirror twin this year in May i didn’t get to say bye to her or see her my life is a mess at the moment so many of you know my pain.xx

      • I know it’s very hard isn’t it but we all have to remember when our time is up we shall be reunited with them in heaven. And personally myself I cannot wait for the day I get to see her face again. Keep strong xx

    • So so sorry for your loss I’ve survived so much death in this life and each time a piece of me went with them I’m such a different person now than when my loved ones were alive I can’t imagine loosing my twin of 67 years please if you would ever like to talk about your twin with me I would love to listen to your stories feel free to email me anytime my name is christie my email is

  11. I lost my twin at birth. we can be a great couple at prom night if he is here. I can forget my 19 birthday. because no one celebrate. but as the present his ghost is coming. 🙂
    now i’m waiting for my 20th birthday.

    • I lost my twin when we were twelve weeks, whilst my mother was pregnant. I’ve no idea the gender of my twin or whether we were identical or not. I’ve always felt that there was a part missing, and I never knew what it was until my mother told me that I’d been a twin. My twin was never born, but I still know that they’re there, watching over me, like yours:).

  12. I lost my twin sister when we were 14 following a 13 years of reoccurring, terminal brain tumor, and ultimately ending her own life. I am turning 33 this week. It is somewhat troubling to me that it is still so hard. Our birthday is harder for me than the anniversary of her death. I guess even 18 years later, celebrating our birthday without her loudly reminds me how i am not meant to be alone. It is both sad and encouraging that there are others like me out there.

    • your experience is almost the same like mine. everyday I think about my twin…. and sometimes I don’t believe my twin is really death. Hopes my parents is lying and he lives somewhere. 😦

      • It’s a natural feeling when we loose such close loved ones a part of us hopes that they are still alive and our minds kinda trick us into thinking that it’s possible they are still alive especially when the was no closure I in fact still go through that feeling with my dad’s death I didn’t get closure and I often find myself wondering if it’s possible he is still alive he been gone 21 years now I don’t know if that feeling ever go’s away

  13. I lost one of my twin boys at 20week’s pregnant finally got to met both my boys in a bittersweet moment on the 16 long weeks later on the 27/3/14 such an emotional day will never forget the day we lost him nd the day we finally met rip my beautiful angel xxx

  14. Lost my twin sister february 15 -2014 today march 17 is our birthday turning 58 year old shut out to my twin sister!

    • Hi Gwendolyn,
      So very sorry to hear about your sister, your loss is so recent and birthdays are not easy at all. I have passed your details on so we will send you the info about joining. Hope we can give you the support you need at this time. X

      • hi,i wish I could tell u sory but that wont change wat is,i lost paul my best friend an identicle twin.we different I found that out very quick,but no matter wat happens he always here,even after 2o years.

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