About

The Lone Twin Network is a voluntary support group run by and for lone twins, over the age of 18, whose loss has occurred at or around birth, in childhood or during adulthood.

We are a UK based group but also have many members from all over the world.

Through meetings and personal contact, we aim to offer a friendly and comfortable environment in which to talk openly and honestly about how it feels to be without your twin. You will find there is a wide variety of experiences and circumstances of loss within the members of the group – please remember, you are not alone.

As we come to know each other through the meetings and network list, we will find mutual support. Some may wish to examine ways of increasing awareness of this profound and unique loss, so that those affected – both lone twins and those related to them – will be able to cope more easily and with greater understanding. We endeavour to help ease the pain of loss and loneliness that we all feel in some way, during our journey through this particular grief.

The network list is the means by which members can make contact with one another as soon as they join the Network. As well as the name and general location, it gives details of the gender of their twin, whether or not they were identical and the age at which their twin died. Additional space is provided for other information which surviving twins may wish to add. Any twin wishing to contact another is free to do so, but there is no obligation for members to participate in ways other than those they have chosen. For example, email addresses or telephone numbers need not be included in the Network list.

Origins of the Network

Between 1983 and 1986, 219 lone twins replied to an invitation from Joan Woodward, herself a lone twin. to participate in her research project into the response of twins to the death of their twin. The findings were presented at the 1988 International Conference of Twin Studies in Amsterdam and subsequently published in their journal. On February 25 1989, at Queen Charlotte’s Hospital, London, 31 of the lone twins originally interviewed by Joan met together for the first time and found they had a great deal to share with one another. It was a momentous day.

Those present divided into four groups; those whose twin had died at or around the time of birth; members whose twin had died in childhood and those whose twin had died in adult life. A separate group was formed for those whose twin had died in traumatic circumstances. After this initial meeting, Joan Woodward offered to compile a Register of Lone twins. As membership grew, the ‘Lone Twin Network’ was formed, and has continued to evolve to meet the needs of those who have experienced twin bereavement. There are currently over 650 members in the network.

Be Part of Lone Twin Network on Facebook

Members have the opportunity to interact with other Lone Twin Network members in a confidential Facebook group. Once your LTN membership is confirmed, we’ll invite you to join the group. Please note, because of the personal nature of the issues discussed by members, we only offer this opportunity to LTN members and we won’t be able to accept anyone into the Facebook LTN Group membership until we know you via joining the LTN core group.

27 thoughts on “About

  1. Hello Friend, I am a lone twin whose heart is broken because my beloved identical twin sister died in March of 2012. I am desperate to find others who have suffered as I am now suffering. There are many days when I do not think I can go on without her. I know I must find a way and that someone some where understands. I hope someone can get back to me to encourage me as I am very lonely and while I have a wonderful husband who helps me and many good friends…..I am still very, very alone. I thank you in advance for any help you can give me. And I am sorry that you, too, have faced what I am facing.

    Blessings,
    Ginny

    • Ginny just seen your post and feel for you. I too lost my beloved identical twin and anyone who has and reads your post understands where you are and a dark hopeless self it can be. Keep the faith please keep faith. You’re so brave to contact LTN it’s only now I feel ready to be part of the LTN and accept what my life is now. If this is my first contact then I hope I can help but take small steps every day and in time you will make emotional gains. I’ve learnt I needed to let go of the anger and why me why Clair but holding onto the past will mould your future no matter how bleak it feels now. I reconciled I had to learn to live again a new life as I’d never lived without a twin. Your sister is within you and she will always be the biggest part of who you are so hold onto her and imagine you carry your spirits together in this new life but most of all be gentle and patient with yourself and take comfort someone somewhere really does understand x

    • I understand exactly how you feel. I lost my brother.it is hard to live day to day. The only thing I find helpful is if I do anything like my work, or if I have a new interest I do it 100% and a little bit more. You are special

      • I’m a male, 61. I lost my twin sister at age 13. I think about her every day. You never stop being a twin! Rejoice! Who else do you know who has had that wonderful experience? It helps me to think that my twin’s soul lives inside me and whatever I see, she will see. I’m not very religious, so it’s not that. It’s just that the for the first 13 years everything I saw, she saw. We could look at each other and know exactly what we were thinking, although she was filtering it as a girl and I was doing it as a boy. It made for interesting conversations.

        The school authorities put us in different classrooms because they thought we were communicating via mental telepathy and that would be unfair to the other students. The F***? What? Are we in a bad ‘fifties sci-fi horror show? Are we circus freaks? No. We actually tried that out in different rooms in our house. I am thinking about an orange. Did you get that? No? Of course not. Nada. Nothing. Truth is we were really good at body language as twins always are. I could look at my sister and raise an eyebrow and she would know exactly what I was thinking. And vice versa. A look. A tilt of the head. I hear you. I got it. I miss that.

        Hope this helps.

    • Hello,I lost my identical twin sister seven years ago.I could not believe the loss was going to change my whole lLIFE forever.I honestly just about gave up it was insanely the worst pain I have ever felt.Thank god for my two beautiful daughters who without knowing it have kept me alive.

  2. Hi Ginny,
    So glad you got in touch on here, you have made the first step to get some help and support with your grief. I have sent you a private email with more details about our support group, but also as I think you are in the US (?) there is an amazing support group who you could also get in touch with
    http://www.twinlesstwins.org/
    who have meetings all over the country and also have a private facebook group for immediate support.
    Please remember that you are not alone and help is out there. Please check out our Book list and Related links pages for further information.
    Hope to here from you soon, Best WIshes LTN admin.

  3. Many thanks for getting back to me. At last I have some hope that I can communicate with someone who knows what it is like to loose your twin. I have sent you my full name and address via email and would like to join the group. I am so sorry for the loss of your twin….

  4. Hi I lost twin a at 20 weeks and delivered twin b at 35 weeks , twin b is now 9 and even though she has other siblings she’s always a little lost 😦

    • Hello, so sad about the loss of one of your twins, I do feel for you so much.
      Our group here is for adult bereaved twins but I think that the Facebook group ‘Parents of lone twins’ would be of great support and help to both you and your little girl. They have many members from all over the world and maybe you can find someone near to you?
      I hope this helps, best wishes, Nancy.

  5. My friend lost her twin in the womb. She is now 38 and still feels like something is missing. She is upset about it. How can I help her? Where can she go for help?

    Many thanks.

    Abi.

    • Hello Abi,

      Very sad to hear about your friend but what a good friend you are for wanting to help her. She can join our group by all means (through the ‘contact us’ page) but also there is this group which has been very supportive and is more focused on womb loss twins:
      http://www.wombtwin.com/

      I hope this can help. Also, please look at the book list on this website as there may be some publications that can help too.

      Best wishes, Nancy

  6. I am a women of 56 years old and I lost my twin brother when I was born in june 1958. This was very hard for my mother : she only talked about my birth and this loss to me two times in my life; my mother passed away 3 years ago at the age of 87. I was the six th and the yougest child my parents had. Writing and talking about this is difficult for me. I feel very sad and thinking about what happened and at the same time I feel foolish and irrational. Very mixed feelings.

    Bernadette

    • Hi Bernadette, to misappropriate a line from George Jones ‘it’s not unusual to feel foolish & irrational’. Just know you are not alone. I’m a guy who is 54 and who lost my twin sister at 3 to a drowning. The loneliness mentioned by Ms. Woodward has been constant throughout my life. And the foolish n irrational feelings too. Need to read more and join this group. To me, this looks like a good place to be. Hope it is for you too.

  7. Hi Bernadette
    I understand where u are coming from. I am also a twin who lost her identical twin a week after birth she had anacephelia. I have foolish and wondered or told myself i as

  8. I lost my identical premature born twin Lisa on the day I was born I think she only lived a few hours.
    I have no one I can talk to about it .iI am estranged from my parents & don’t get on well with my sister who doesn’t understand me.
    I have felt lonely all my life and have suffered from several bouts odlf depression.
    Throughout my life I have tried to have just one close relationship with 1 person .I have felt guilty all my life that she died and I survived though my spiritual beliefs have helped.
    I have only just found out re your organisation. .iI have never spoken about how I feel with anyone in any great depth wondered if anyone near me in group & wondered re book list.
    Thanks Norma at weston-super-mare

    • Dear Norma; I had a twin sister who was stillborn, even though she was bigger than me, I was tiny yet survived . Like you, I have felt guilty and alone all my life . My parents never really talked about it and it was like a dirty secret and I had to deal with their depression caused by the loss, even though I wasn’t to blame. I have suffered from that for years and again like you, have no one can really understand so like you say, you have no one to talk to and have had depression on and off. My family don’t understand, my sisters and brother have had children and a brother was born after me and was doted on.

  9. Someone I live very much is working through womb survivor grief. He lost his twin brother at birth. Is there a group for family members of twinless twins? We are in america – could we/he join your group? Thank you for giving voice to this struggle. I know his brother is an important part of him and, thus, our story… It is so helpful to have this resource so I can better support him!

    Sincerely,

    Becky

    • Hello Becky,
      Thank you for being in touch on here and what a good friend you are to want to help someone you care about.
      I’m afraid we don’t offer friends and family support as we are primarily focused on lone twins only. Have you heard about the American group? http://www.twinlesstwins.org they accept friends and family and have branches all over the states. I don’t mean to palm you off but I do think they will be
      able to give your friend better support. Also, you could try http://www.wombtwin.com which I know has been very useful to people in this position.
      Take care, Nancy.

  10. DO not know where to turn for my son, he is a identical twin of 17 based in Lincolnshire he lost his brother 4 days before x mass he is so low needs to know there are others out there as a dad I do not know what to do please help us,,, james

  11. I am not a lone twin, but when I was younger, for what ever reason, I always was a little depressed about something that I didn’t understand. I knew someone else was suppose to exist but didn’t understand what happen, why I couldn’t see them, and wanted to know why. I felt like I was a twin. I kept asking my mom about my twin or where were they. What happen, why didn’t they come home like me. My mom told me that none of this was true, I never had a twin, the hospital did not take the other baby. I am the oldest of 3 kids. A daughter, now 33. Last year, my mom told me her biggest secret b/c my grandmother told my other two siblings and thought she had told me w/o her consent. No, I was not a twin. My mom terminated a pregnancy at 4 weeks (almost impossible, I know) but she just knew and indeed was confirmed. My mom was in a different relationship that ended badly and pregnacy was terminated. My mom has regreted it every day of her life since. She probay jas not een the same since. The sibling, I feel a very close connection to my brother named Michael. I told my mom everything, and told her I thought the baby was a boy, and his name is Michael. My mom said she remembered that she thought the child would have been a boy, too. However, she disagreed w/ the name. However, she was only 4 weeks at birth termination.

    Tonight, I felt his presence. I said his name several times, quietly. All of a sudden, my husband of whom was in another room blocked by wall, puts on Michael Jackson’s This is It. I closed my eyes and started dancing like Michael Jackson while trying to channel for my brother.I think I must have been dancing for him. I need to find out if todays date has any significance to him.

    I still have a strong opinion about twinships, it use to be quite common in my family. Technically twins are born every other generation , but nope. However, when I started labor my son, they had to rupture a second sac. That tells me my body has the proper anatomy?

  12. I have an identical twin sister. I haven’t lost her but we were suppose to have a triplet and it died at 16 weeks gestation. Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve looked like, what its name would’ve been, or if it’s soul went to another baby and someone with my triplets soul is walking around somewhere. My mom told me a few years ago I always told her I felt like we were missing someone. I remember when the family was getting in the car to go somewhere when I was young I was looking around at all my siblings and felt like I was looking for another face but then I realized all three of my siblings are there and there isn’t anyone else.

    • Hi Sam,
      As a voluntary group run by lone twins, for lone twins, I’m afraid that our sole focus is on supporting adult lone twins only.
      For parents there are bereavement support organisations such as Cruse and The Compassionate Friends (please see our ‘Related Links’ page), as well as a few Facebook group such as Parents of Twinless Twins (please search in the Facebook search bar as I can’t link to it here). For siblings, there are also resources from Cruse and TCF, but sadly this is a very under supported group. Maybe someone should start a Facebook support group for siblings?

  13. Hello, is this still active? I am a fraternal twin who lose my twin in utero. I’m afraid I never knew much besides I had a sister named Reba at 6 months but she didn’t survive. They tried to keep me in longer but I was born 3 weeks later at 3 lbs. I never thought more about it then just feeling a sense of loss but a friend was talking to me recently and she brought up she felt sad for my trauma. I said, “What trauma?” “Well you lost your twin. That was experiencing death and loss in the same womb. I’m sure even then you felt it.” then I started crying without any emotion just crying and it hit me like a brick. I was angry and feeling guilty for surviving. I never thought I was entailed to call myself a twin or should feel it because she died before I was born but looking back I realized that too was guilt. It doesn’t affect my life I thought but maybe it does in ways I never understood. I don’t know if I really qualify for this. I figured though it wouldn’t hurt to ask if that sort of loss would affect someone in subconscious ways? I’ve never been around twins.

    • Hello Rebekah and thank you for writing. My twin sister drowned at three years old. In the days and months that followed after that I went essentially crazy. So did my mother and so did everybody else in my family oh we all had great poker faces. By other family members all moved on but I did not. Many decades later I still pine for her.

      Two months ago I had brain surgery. While coming out of anesthesia I thought that I was drowning. (Note: I had nearly drowned along with my sister… I had a collapsed lung… It was that close )

      For a long minute or so on a couple of occasions I would choke on cold water and brush a boat in my hospital bed convinced I was drowning, and doing everything I could to survive. But at the same time I was thinking to myself if Claudette is dead I may as as well stop struggling because it was not worth it to go on.

      Then some part of me would become conscious of the fact I was not drowning and that I was in the hospital, that I’d already lived a long time without her , and that I would be okay since I was an adult now with family and a daughter around me. The point is
      A) even at three years old I felt I had to forget about my twin to protect others from the grief that I would start up by talking about it. Wasn’t that crazy?
      B) I still miss my twin sister decades later.
      Rebekah, all this guy who is pretty mixed up from brain surgery 8 weeks ago can say is:
      Once a twin, Always a Twin
      xo Claude

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