If you would like to know more about the Lone Twin Network or if you would like to become a member, please fill in the Contact Form at the bottom of this page or use the postal address below. As we are a voluntary group, we may not be able to offer immediate response to emails, but we will reply to your query as soon as possible.
Please Note: You need to be 18 or over to join the group.
There is a joining fee of £12 followed by a yearly voluntary contribution to allow us to provide the Lone Twin Network’s services.
Lone Twin Network
c/o David Elvy
226 Tylecroft Road
Norbury
London SW16 4TQ
Please be assured that all communications are treated with complete privacy.
lone twin network 
i lost my identical twin sister 3 days before we were out of the womb. i found out when i was 7 years old and i was confused and critical even though i felt like i always knew. i know where her grave is it was how my cousin told me and although i could go to it anytime i wanted during the summer i never got too close because i spent so much time trying to convince myself that she wasn’t dead and one day i would find out that there was a mistake. i am now 15 years old and still unable to move one, no one seems to feel the same even my brother who also lost his sister. i always feel this loss and loneliness like i am missing something that no one can give me. i miss her so much and that confuses me because i don’t even know her and i can’t seem to move one. i always look at the mirror and think this is what my twin would have look like and writing her full name down always makes me cry.
Hi! I’m Rocío, and I am a lonelly twin. I’m trying to create a support group for spanish speaking people. Here is the web site. Lots of love
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1729863347244389/
I felt lonely when i was told my twin sister died at birth
Hi I lost my identical twin sister last year 11th March 2016. She is still the first thought in my mind when I wake in the morning and my last thought before I go to sleep(thats if I manage to get some sleep) At the moment I feel no light at the end of the tunnel only darkness, I just hope with time I will get some sort of peace and be able to believe life is going to get better. I always knew she would be leaving me but when it happens its like living in a dream. I know I have to go on for the sake of her daughters but its like I’m putting on a show being happy laughing and joking to cover up the turmoil thats going on inside.
Hi Roz,
You are the 1st person I have seen in here in the same situation as me. I lost my identical twin brother, aged 32, April 10th 2016.
I am not sure how to communicate properly. As I don’t use this much and only saw your message by chance. I don’t want to loose your contact, so to be safe, my email is desjclg@gmail.com.
Best,
Desmond.
I lost my identical twin brother on 1st Feb. 2017 from brain cancer. Heartbroken. Really miss him.
So sorry to hear, I feel your pain. I have just found this group but my identical twin sister was killed in a road accident at age 44 in 2006.. it must have been so hard for you to see your twin suffering. I wish you strength and comfort.
MY TWIN SISTER HAS ONLY 6_8 MONTHS LEFT we have just turned 47 she got diagnosed with cervical cancer (Jan 2018) I am truly devasted and I know my light is going to go out she’s my best friend and the only person who truly gets me and vice versa I have to stay strong because her daughter is living with me she’s only 12 my heart is truly breaking.
Thank you so much for replying this really helps confirm to me we have done the right thing for her xxx
Hello Jo,
You could also try the Facebook group ‘Parents of Twinless Twins’, I believe they are a really supportive group. Take care x
Hi there,
I am a parent of two girls and I have lost babies through miscarriage. I am also a surviving identical twin. My twin sister died just four days after we were born.
I felt she was with me aways when I was a girl but my parents did not tell me of her till I asked them aged 13 years.
I had a grat deal of sadness I could not understand, the lack of support or communication lelt life alonely plase for me despite having other sibblings.
I know this was in the early 80s and there was little awareness. My parents had not dealt with their own geief.For whats its worth I feel as a lone twin you have done the right thing.
It is open and consious. Yes, it does mean your child will require your support now but this this is perfect.
In my experience, awareness , openess and communication is key to all loss.
Get whatever help you need to grieve so that you are available to support your daughter , perhaps some bereavement counselling may be helpful. I wish you all healing , love and power through thes times.
Best regards
Cecilia
Hi everyone I have an 8 year old daughter who had a twin brother who died at two days old. She has alwwys known about her brother and myself and her father have always spoken about him and allowed her to in a ewsy open way without i hope fear of upsetting us. I am struggling at the moment understanding her sadness she gets so upset and says she misses him, I think she feels terrible guilt that she is here with us and he isnt. I really want to help her in the best possible way but im at a loss of where to turn. Does anyone have any advice of support groups for children that are lone twin? I think she also struggling because her brother died of a heart condition that her living younger sister also has but she is completely fine no health issues at all, I sometimes wonder if we maybe made a mistake by being so open about her twin all of her life? Really hope someone can help / advise thank you so much
I’m 45 and I lost my identical twin sister when we were 2 days old. I’ve been very lucky in my life in that I have lovely supportive parents who spoke openly about our loss and an older brother I get on with very well. I’m also now happily married with a lovely 5 year old daughter. BUT from an early age (I would say about 5 or 6) I have always had a strong sense of needing to succeed for two because I was the one that got the chance to live. This feeling was very quickly followed up by the sense I would never actually be able to do this so as a result I have been dogged by feelings of failure, inadequacy, self-loathing and the sense that I will never be very good at anything. I also find it almost impossible to ask people for help in terms of emotional support. While I feel very sad that we never got to grow up together, I don’t miss my sister in the conventional sense or have a sense that she is watching over me. I feel sadder for my mum than I do for myself as it was such a devastating experience for her and the loss of a child is such a uniquely awful thing. So now I’m trying to work out whether my feelings of inadequacy are things that other loan twins have experienced and how likely it all is to be linked to that. Any thoughts?
Hi I’m 22,I lost my twin sister before birth. Throughout my life I been knowing I had a twin sister but it wasn’t till last year that I started researching online ,that I was able to realize that my anxiety,fears in life and my sense of not being complete are all due to the fact that I’m a twin. Now I knw that the reason why my friendships or other ppl dnt work out is because I always find a way of replacing my twin with them and when they dnt respond to the friendship in a way I wish they did I end up isolating myself. I hope to one day be able to live a happy life with ought having to feel sad constantly
Incredible. I have felt this way for so long.
I’ve just been reading an article that matches my mothers description of my birth. The healthcare staff took the placenta away and spent a lot of time with it. It’s a shame that twins who die in the womb are not recorded, because for years I had hoped there would be proof that I was a twin, but the only people who could verify it probably don’t remember. It is 35 years ago, after all.
I have learned to be happy, but that sense of people not responding as my twin would is so true! And the gaping void that I feel inside just seems impossible to fill, but also to fill it seems like it would be disloyal to the memory of being a twin. It’s so hard to truly come to terms with this. Not all twins want to talk about it either. The only person I met who I felt understood me had a twin brother who died at birth, but he never talks about it. His brother got to be named, mine didn’t. My twin doesn’t exist as far as medical science goes. But finding this website, hearing these stories, proves to me that I’m right about being a twin.
I am 32 and lost my identical twin brother 2 months ago. Sudden heart attack. I wanted to get in touch so I could know when your next meetup will be near London? It would be nice to talk with people who can relate.
Hello Desmond,
So pleased you have been in touch with us on here, you have come to the right place for support and understanding. Please can you message us through the contact page so we have your email, then we can send you details of how to join. Our next London meeting is in October and it would be lovely yo have you with us,
Kind regards, Nancy
Thank you. I believe I did send you something on the contact page. Please let me know if you have received it. Look forward to the next meeting,
Des.
Hello, I also lost my twin brother to a sudden heart attack. He had type 1 diabetes from age 14. Id often help him out of hypos or call an ambulance if I couldn’t bring him back. We grew close and have gone through a lot together and with our own families / children too. Over the past 2 years he developed an underlying condition, suspected but not proved to be clonic tonic type of epilepsy, it was untreated. He was a very proud man and did not want to be medically investigated. I think stress played a big part in the underlying condition. He had a demanding job and family. He died suddenly whilst on holiday with his family. I feel shock still a year on (brought feels up after our mum passed away 4weeks ago). I’m very grateful to have a life to live. I’m trying to deal with the grief through sport but I feel I’m running away rather than facing up to managing my loss feelings.
Are there any group forums or meet ups , although I understand the current covid restrictions may prevent these sorts of things happening? Are there any dial in/ teams/ zoom groups to share experiences and not feel so lost and alone?
Thanks,
Kath
I as well lost my identical twin sister from a sudden heart attack.Its been seven years now.Please go to hospice and get help through the roller coaster of every emotion you will go through.Best wishes
Anjy, I can relate to what you said about the mixed feelings. My twin died in the womb. I have suffered a lifetime of relationship difficulties, profound loneliness, feeling “different”, pushing romantic relationships away, and craving having a daughter, but better yet, twin girls. I am 52 now, and it is so freeing to know that I am not crazy, I just miss my twin. I used to have episodes of hearing a baby crying and have looked in alleyways, around fringes of my neighborhood, etc., to see if I could find her. I have a profound sense of being alone that
I lost my identical twin sister 5 days after birth. Unable to find where she was buried/ cremated
I have had two marriage breakdowns I seem unable to be in a relationship. Always searching for something I can’t find
Anyone else feel this way
Omg…5 seems to be to be a common denominator..I too have suffered failed relationships having been married 3 times. My last marriage ended with my husband suiciding. We were apart at the time. I too have had 9 miscarriages and 3 still born babies. I miscarried twin boys at 5 months gestation. I have been on my own and celibate now for 25 years and live alone with my 3 dogs and 4 cats!! Life is good..I have a son whom I adore and 2 beautiful grandies. I am blessed…but very lonely
..thank you for listening..love always Kaz..💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝
I have known about the LTN for a couple of years, now, but always hesitated to join since I’m not in the UK and won’t likely be able to ever attend a meeting. But to read the stories here is intensely helpful, too. To know I’m not crazy. I have to come back freon time to time to refresh the knowledge. My twin died in utero, likely it was TTTS. No US in the 1960s, so my mother didn’t know she was carrying twins, just was hospitalised for unknown trouble and they found the placenta at birth. I have felt my twin’s presence all my life, just outside the reach of my hand. Sometimes the presence of her absence hurts so much I double up as if I was in physical pain. Our time in the womb must have been very stressful, so I have mixed feelings of loss and longing, fear and closeness. It gets harder with the years.
Thanks for listening.
Hi everyone. Wow. I am relieved to find this site. I am 35 and thought I was crazy for the longest time. I lost my identical twin shortly after birth. He has a grave, but I was convinced it was a cover up. In my early years I had overwhelming grief, sadness and heartache and a yearning just to touch him and hold him – strange I know, I could not understand it. Many years on, I still feel empty and lonely, even thought I am happily married with children. I don’t understand how I can feel him and I can’t explain this feeling to anyone because they think I’m nuts. I wish all of you comfort even though these feelings will never go away. I just hope he’s one of the first people I see when it’s that time.
Hello Jonathan,
Glad you have found us too! All of what you have said is completely normal for us lone twins, you are not nuts, I can assure you of that. We hope to offer an understanding and supportive environment where we can openly speak about how it is to live without our twin and what we can do to get through our life without them.
If you join the network you will get notice of all meetings and other get togethers, as well as be able to join our private Facebook group. I will email you regarding details of how to join, should you wish to.
Take care and hope to have you join us?
My brother and I (we were born 4 years apart) both lost our twin shortly after we were born. We have known our whole life about their existence and still visit their grave each year. Now in our thirties, we have both grown up to be successful, enjoying life, having lots of friends. But both of us are single and have never really had serious relationships. Somehow I wonder if losing at an early age the person who is supposed to be the closest to you, impacts building relationships?
I lost mi twin brother before birth and I’ve always feel so lonely like I missed a half of me. My mom told me I had a twin at age 7 and since that day I can understand my feelings but I still feel like I miss him so much and I cry and I feel depressed in my birthday because we are celebrating only my birth and not his birth too… And I don’t want to talk about this with my parents because I feel they won’t understand me. I just want someone to understand how I feel and I will feel all my life!
i lost my twin sis before birth like you just i want you to know that someone here understand you and understand how you feel….
I lost my identical twin sister before birth. I have always known about her. I had twin to twin transfusion syndrome. Always felt like something was missing and I was trying to fill it. I nearly lost my life too. I always dream of what my life would have been like if she was here
Thanks, I always felt different, in the past I loved when they said, “if you had not been born, would have to be invented” Now, I can not help but wonder if everyone knew that I had a twin sister they never intended to tell me
I was lucky to have my twin for 44 years ! An I can’t begin to tell you how empty inside ! Its a pain no one should ever feel !
My identical sister comited suicide 4 years ago. Now loft contact eigh my brother and mother .
Hi Caroline,
My twin took her own life too, so I feel I can truly empathise with what you are feeling. It’s a very difficult loss to come to terms with and you must be kind to yourself and take your own time. I’ve replied to your email so I hope you join soon so we can support you and help you on this journey xx
I’m so sorry darling for your loss..my husband suicides.. it leaves a huge void..💝💝💝💝
I agree with the lucky part. Had mine for 23 years and it was a special gift. Others don’t understand the loss and changes you have to make to soldier on. XX
I don’t know about you guys but the one thing I’ve never been able to do since loosing my twin is to look in a mirror completly, if I’m doing my hair I look at my hair, if im doing my eyes I look at my eyes, but I’ve never been able to look at myself entirely.
Have u everything look in te mirror Crying n ur image is smiling at u.. I have.. I was an identical twin too . She died 5 days after birth. Or so I’m led to believe. I was 10 when I found her birth n death certificate. We had the same name. Different middle names. To this day I’m unclear to the truth. Since her existence was something I stumbled upon..
Sort of same situation surrounding my brother’s death. My own parent’s told me one day, the death certificate whereas the death certificate said another day. Among the baby items I found in a suitcase (which I accidentally found in the closet around age 7) was no birth certificate. My parents left California, and never wanted much to do with extensive family down there. I’ve always wondered if they gave him up for adoption or something. I tried to bring it up once, but it just upset everyone about a subject no one ever wanted to talk about..
I feel the same way as you do
My identical twin sister received her angel wings at 5 days old. She had pneumonia due to not being intubated correctly by a medical intern..💝💝
When my brother was alive, occasionally we would sit down opposite each other and have a good long stare at each others face!!, it was quite surreal and funny at times.
Hi I can understand that my twin bro died 28th April 2016 and for the last 3 months I also havnt looked in the mirror at all,to emotional me and my twin were identical which is so good caus he will live on through me so your not on your own.bless
Hello,my identical twin sister died in the bathtub of a heart attack.Thank god I was with her.She called me in the morning and told me to get on the ferry she needed to see me;she didnt know why.I couldn’t go into a bath for two years.I look in the mirror and it’s all a blur. Take care
Hi Rosyln,
Sorry only seeing your message now! I don’t exactly understand your advice,
“Please go to hospice and get help through the roller coaster of every emotion you will go through”
Would you be so kind as to explain a little about the hospice?
Where are you based? US?
Thank you,
Desmond.
Thank u very much for your time!! Sincerely, Traci Swabski
Hi I’m an identical twin
I was born Dec. 23, 1972
My sister passed away 2 days. Later. Dec 25, 1972
Through out my life I have always. Felt lonely like a part of me is missing. To complete me. I’m know married to a great man for 19 years and have 4 wonderful children together. The feeling of being so lonely all the time never goes away. I miss her profoundly!!
Throughout my life I’ve always felt unique affortunate to say I’m an identical twin !!
I just found this site. Ive always felt your lonliness too. Im an identicle twin but mine died at age ten. I would love to talk with you
Oh my!! You have said my sentiments..EXACTLY!! so often I look to the universe to give me a sign and continue to shed many tears. How can I miss someone so much that I didn’t know? Why have I always been dealt double of everything? Why is my heart empty and incomplete…do others feel this way?
Love and many thoughts with those of you with lonely hearts too..
Love Kaz Hausler💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝
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